Driving Miss Nesha

Wow, what a ride it's been. In just one month, God has continued to bless me with opportunities to serve him. Why do I sound so amazed? Why do I put God in a box as if I am the one who determines how he will move in my life? But yet, I remain amazed. I remain completely dumbfounded that he chooses to work through me. Maybe it's because I still don't feel worthy to be used by him. Doesn't he know how screwed up I am? Doesn't he know that I have major issues I need to work through? Doesn't he know that I am not the smartest person in this field? Doesn't he know that I think I am not ready to do something so big? Doesn't he know that I would rather stay home and hide? Doesn't he know that I just want to be left alone?

Of course he knows all these things about me. He continues to draw me out, to call me out, and to challenge me that if I truly want to be his follower that I must TRUST him. It's one thing to say you trust God, it's a whole other thing to see that trust play out in real life. It hasn't been easy, but I am choosing to trust that his plans for my life are better than my own. I am learning 18 years later after becoming a Christian (can you tell how stubborn I am?), that there is no better life than a life purposed for HIM. There is no true happiness in a life apart from serving and walking with him.

I have decided that as long as I let him stay in the driver seat that I don't have to worry about crashing. Sooner or later, I will get it through my thick headed skull that as long as I am driving, I will wreck. While I am still learning what it means to be his follower, I'll call "shotgun" and let him drive and enjoy the ride. I will enjoy hearing the fatherly, sweet tone in his voice saying to me, "let me drive you Miss Nesha. Buckle up, it's going to be one heck of a ride."