January 3 was an ordinary day at home as a mom. While Owen was climbing all over my back, I was surfing around on the internet, while watching Dr. Phil. I ended up on the website for the show "The Doctors" and starting reading different articles about health issues.
I saw a call for stories asking about struggles women were facing with their body after having children. I decided on a whim to write a short story about myself. I explained that I felt like I was doing everything I could to diet and stay in shape, but that I couldn't figure out what to do about my stomach and the extra skin that has come with stretching from 3 very large babies! With all that though, I stressed the point that for me this wasn't a vanity issue. My goal wasn't to wear a bikini, my goal was to wear pants that were my size.
TWO hours later I get an email from a producer asking for more information. By the next day, I was on the phone with the producer asking me to be a guest on their show the following Thursday, the 13th! She said the segment was on "Medical Firsts" and that she wanted me to be a guest asking Dr. Ordon questions about considering my first cosmetic surgery, and if that was an option for me to fix my stomach.
Of course I said yes.
Fast forward to Thursday, January 13. I hadn't even told my family yet what was happening. I didn't even think to really because I was just going to an audience member. I was supposed to be at the Paramount lot by 9am. We almost didn't make it because I gave Micah the wrong address. We were stressed.
I prayed silently in the car. We arrived at the set at 8:56 am.
Did God have something in store for me? I had no idea. I wasn't banking on it. But he got us there. Somehow, he got us there.
Micah, my friend Christina and I are taken to The Doctor's studio, and escorted to my dressing room. WHAT?! My dressing room?! Seriously this was starting to become really exciting. It even had my name on the door! The 3 of us were like kids on Christmas Day. What was going on?
I go to hair and make-up. That was fun. Then the producer comes in and gives me a general idea of what to say when I am asking Dr. Ordon my question. Sounds easy. I ask the question, he answers, I sit down. I got this.
A stage director comes and takes us down to our seats in the audience. We are still giddy. We are still like kids on Christmas Day waiting in anticipation.
The Doctors come out on stage. I see Dr. Ordon and I get NERVOUS! Oh my gosh...what the heck was I supposed to say again!
Then came my cue. Dr. Travis Stork (YES THE DR. STORK!) says "we have some questions from the audience now." I stand up. I am going to puke. "Oh my gosh...what the heck was I supposed to say again..." is running through my mind...
I say something like "Hi, my name is Nesha and I have a question for Dr. Ordon. I have been blessed with 3 great kids, all of who were 9 lbs and over and birth. And I feel like I have done everything I can through diet and excercise to get back in shape, but I don't know what to do with all of this excess skin and fat in my stomach."
I think that is what I said. I can't remember. It was all a fog.
Dr. Ordon starts to answer me. He says "first of all you look great for having three kids, let's applaud you for that." I am BLUSHING. I don't take words of affirmation well at all. The audience claps. I just want to sit down and hide.
I can't remember what he says. He is talking directly to me and I have no idea what he is saying. Then I hear him say "since you're here, why don't you come on up and we'll take a look at you."
WHAT!
NO ONE has seen my stomach. I hide her very well. Not even my husband has really seen what it looks like because I hold it in all the time.
There I went. Up on stage. Dr. Masterson (the only female doctor) gets up and helps hold up my shirt. Dr. Ordon starts rolling down the top of my skirt to see my belly. I AM GOING TO DIE is all I can think.
He starts marking on my belly with a sharpie. I can barely hear what he is saying. I am so nervous. I do remember him saying, "this is not fat." That puts me at ease. I knew it! I have been trying so hard to get my stomach in shape. Maybe I am not crazy.
Then he looks up at me and says "do people often think you're pregnant?" My eyes swell with tears. All the time. All the time and I am so tired of how humiliating that feels. And its almost always women. Women can be so mean. But it's not their fault. I really do look pregnant.
I answer with a simple "yes, all the time." I barely get the words out because I am on the verge of tears.
He gets up and says, "you know I do a lot of these kinds of procedures." I say something stupid like "I know. And my husband and I have talked about doing this for me..." I can't remember what else I said, because what happened next was God blessing one of his insignificant, unworthy daughters....
Dr. Ordon said "well The Doctors show would like to offer to do this surgery for you." I started to CRY. I was so shocked. I couldn't even answer him. He said "would you like me to do this for you?" I barely got the word out but quietly said "yes." He hugged me and I cried more. I said "thank you so much, this is truly a blessing for me!" He simply said "you deserve it."
I am still stunned. Barely a week later and I am still trying to process through what happened that day. I immediately started to worry about people judging me. Unfortunately, I worry most about other Christians judging me. I have quickly found that people treat you differently when you are in ministry.
Micah and Christina had to remind me that this was a blessing. This was a gift not just from The Doctor's, but from my Father in Heaven. This was something I was probably never going to pay for myself. I have too many things that I want to accomplish for God's kingdom, that I just couldn't see how I would ever make this happen financially.
But God did. He blessed me. He blessed me. He BLESSED me. For that, I am SO thankful. There will be those that judge me. But the truth is, they were probably never my friend to begin with. I can't let Satan try to harass me to diminish the fact that my heavenly Daddy, BLESSED me.
